Ralf 'Loopi' Koje - the whole truth
by Alan Rowley, 2nd April 2003

Dominic Cork - a cricketer?

Sorry to disappoint all you County supporters, but our front page article suggesting that Derbyshire had signed an unknown Turk as their second overseas was an April Fool joke. For those of you who didn't get the clues, this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about our Loopi. The inspiration for Loopi came from a Turkish accordion-playing journalist called Mahir Cagri who shot to fame a couple of years ago when his internet homepage attracted millions of visitors. The site greeted visitors with a "Welcome to my home page!!!!!!!!! I kiss you!!!!!"

message and contained amusing photos depicting Mahir with his friends. The picture featured at the top of the article is our hero himself.

Mahir wrote: "I like sex" and offered an invitation: "Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate ... She can stay my home." He received hundreds of marriage proposals.

The other characters in my article are all figments of my imagination, with the exception of Dominic Cork, who is, apparently, a Derbyshire cricketer. Ralf "Loopi" Koje is an anagram of 'April Fool joke'. Ista Koje is an anagram of 'it's a joke'. Koje Kars and Koje's Kanteen, obviously, don't exist. Uzfibbin CC (you's fibbin') is also ficticious, as is Youshaf Binnad (you's haf bin 'ad).

Do they play cricket in Turkey?

References to taxi driving Derbyshire league cricketers were inspired by recent postings on the message board concerning Aston's 'big taxi driver'. The bit about the sun setting over the Scoreboard End is a reference to the fact that in late summer, games are sometimes held up due to the low Sun. This has happened on several occasions that I know of.

The piece about a club spokesman saying "I have been told not to talk to this website, but an announcement will appear on the official Derbyshire site sometime in late October." concerns the early days of Sting, when the County sent all their players a letter forbiding them for talking to the site (true, believe me). The second part of the quote is my dig at the official site, which is sometimes badly out-of-date. Sorry guys, only joking.

The official site can be found by clicking here.

Anyway, sorry to anyone who was taken in, and to those who were asking when they can meet our hero. Who knows, he might make a return to this site sometime in the future.

"I kiss you!!!"