Blaster Branson cuts down Cutthorpe
by Alan Rowley, 2nd June 2006

The sun shone on the distant hills at Cutthorpe as 'the follow on' circus rolled into town. Macca had worked late into the night to provide a track suitable for the opening fixture of 'the follow on' XI's season, and the ground was drying out nicely after the deluges of the previous couple of weeks. It was time for cricket, curry and karaoke washed down by lashings of beer and wine.

Acting skipper John (Taggart) Combe performed tossing duties with newly elected 'the follow on' skipper Paul (Ahmed Iminagaybar) Bakel (pictured left) and after careful consideration, Cutthorpe elected to bat, probably due to the fact that half their side were still fighting their way through the crowds to reach the ground.

Umpires Ken Ginsey and John (Gooders) Goodwin (pictured below) made their way to the middle followed by Matt Cluer and Dave Nelis, who strode confidently to the crease as 'the follow on' fielders reluctantly had their beers prised from their hands. Jon (jonb) Branson and Dave (Gold) Hone had the privilege of opening the bowling on their 'follow on' debuts, but were unable to secure an early breakthrough. The Cutthorpe openers raced untroubled to fifty with Cluer looking a class apart.

Rob (rob_p) Plested and Alex (Deadly) Burnham - the second best Tasmanian left armer in Derbyshire cricket - also failed to penetrate the stubborn Cutthorpe defence. With the scoreboard wickets column in danger of rusting through lack of use, it was 'the follow on' leading wicket taker Steve (Merlin) Woodward who removed Nelis leg before for 22, with the score on 75. Cluer also retired when he passed fifty and it was left to Simon Barlow and Andy Murray to continue the onslaught.

Barlow bludgeoned the bowling and newcomers Dave (Barbadian_Buses) Bush and Tom (tommy_b) Bakel bore the brunt of the punishment. Barlow raced to fifty in no time, with Murray playing a more sedate role at the other end. As Barlow passed his fifty, he too was reluctantly dragged from the crease by the skipper to become another 'retired not out'. Murray, rather harshly, suffered the same fate with only five runs to his name.

Cutthorpe's overseas star Asadullah Butt lasted no more than two balls before he holed out to a great Bush catch on the boundary off skipper Bakel for a duck. With the score on 155 for 2, and Cutthorpe looking set for a 250 plus total, Bakel played a master stroke. He removed himself from the bowling attack after taking one for two from his two overs, ensuring his place at the top of 'the follow on' bowling averages, and re-introduced the opening bowlers back into the attack.

Branson tore through the Cutthorpe middle order skittling Jim Linacre, Rob Kemp and John McCollum within three overs. Hone enticed Combe to chip one to Woodward to send him back to the pavilion with 18 to his name and suddenly Cutthorpe were 180 for 6.

Cluer was sent back to the crease to stem the flow of wickets, but only suceeded in becoming victim number four for Branson, thanks to a Paul Bakel catch. Branson finished his spell with excellent figures of 4 for 27 from his eight overs. Cutthorpe's 40 overs ended on 190 for 7 and everyone headed for the pavilion and an excellent spread including the regular 'follow on' favourites of curry, chilli and profiteroles.

'the follow on' XI re-live their youth at Cutthorpe

Part of the crowd enjoy the Cutthorpe hospitality (left to right: Planty, Gold, Gazza, Barty and Upnunder)

Reluctantly, the players left the warmth of the Macca chilli and headed back to the field. Fuelled with copious supplies of food and booze, openers Chris (Planty) Plant and Plested headed to the crease. McCollum and Butt opened the attack for Cutthorpe but Plant and Plested easily saw through the opening overs.

On 38, Plant was first to fall, caught by McCollum off Combe for 11, but Plested was batting stylishly at the other end. Young Tommy Bakel joined the Chesterfield batsman and the two built up a useful partnership of 45 before Plested fell, caught by Cluer off Simon Barlow, for a magnificent 54. Tom was then joined by brother Paul and the Bakel brothers batted sensibly and carefully to take 'the follow on' score into three figures.

When Tom was trapped leg before by Combe, Paul accelerated, and despite losing Woodward leg before to McCollum for 1 and Bush, bowled by Murray for 4, the Duffield lad continued to frustrate the Bassetlaw boys.

The skipper finally fell to a fine Kemp catch off Murray for 40 and the Cutthorpe spinner grabbed the wicket of Chris (The Hound) Dent, caught by Linacre for a duck soon after. The visitors had slumped to 147 for 7, and with the run rate rising faster than the body temperature after a mouthful of curry, 'the follow on' looked to be running out of overs and wickets.

Enter Branson and stumper Gareth (Strudwick) Harry (pictured above) to the action. A magnificent straight six from Branson and a flurry of boundaries from Harry, wrecked Murray's figures and took 'the follow on' to a superb three wicket victory. Branson capped his four wickets with an unbeaten 25 and Harry ended undefeated on 23.

As with all 'the follow on' games, the after match sessions are as much a part of the day as the thrashing of leather. Cutthorpe provided a karaoke and Planty did a passable impression of Don McLean as he sang 'bye bye' to 'Miss American Pie' (pictured right). The clubbers amongst the squad headed into Chesterfield for some serious partying whilst the elder members of the team headed off to bed to try and recover in time for Saturday.

A good day was had by all and Cutthorpe are thanked for their warm welcome and the efforts they put in to get the game played. The circus packed away its gear and headed into the sunset to prepare for the next match at Gotham on Sunday July 23rd.

Scorecard | Planty sings (mp3 file) | 'the follow on' averages